:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
