i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
