just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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