Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
