Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
