i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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