once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
