she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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