I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
