isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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