Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
