Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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