I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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