dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
