Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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