I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
