I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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