ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The uberlube is also flammable
Damn victory sex feels great
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
