How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
