party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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