People with herpes should wear stickers.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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