I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
