I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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