Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
