Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
