For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
