It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
