I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
