She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
