So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
