Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We have started to decorate penises.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize