last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
