i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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