I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize