I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
