Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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