**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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