Porn is love you can see.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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