ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
