So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
