I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
