You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
