The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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