tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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