Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
