i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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