So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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