I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize