Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
