yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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