the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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