she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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