I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
