I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
