Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
