Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
