i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
