U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
