I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
