Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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