I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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