We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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