i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
